It's that time of year again. E3 has come and gone, and the Clan is here to shed some light on their favorite games. The guys come up with their favorite gilfs, and then Schweiss goes off the chain about some neighborhood garbage. Enjoy the NUDE!

This week, the clan invites special guest Larsen on as our very first Dungeon Master. Join heroes Obsidianbah, Nooborious Trumpus, Michaelangelus Pencicuis, and Kryvix as they combine forces for a simple caravan mission. Will things go awry? Will Pencicuis fall asleep on watch duty? Find out! Oh, and we also did a few E3 predictions for good measure. Live always in the [NUDE]!

This week, we go over the history of the Xbox 360. Join us for all the laughs, the sales, and the history behind things. We also round out the month's HOG updates: Congrats to Jake for NUDE Hog, and Ryan for Super Hog. Also, special shoutout to Truehoax for winning the drawing. Make sure to vote on the Forced Entry title!

The History of the Xbox 360

Kaleb Schweiss

The Xbox360 is a home video game console developed by Microsoft. It competed with the Playstation 3 and the Wii during the seventh generation of video game consoles. It was officially announced on MTV on May 12, 2005. The console was released on November 22, 2005, and has sold 84 million units as of June 9, 2014. The console didn’t win the great war of the 7th, but it is praised via TechRadar to be the most influential through it’s emphasis on digital media distribution and mutliplayer gaming on Xbox live. But of course, the thing I feel like they did the most right is the achievements. The console is the highest selling console originating from America, the greatest country ever, and is the sixth highest selling console of all time, behind The Playstation 2, Nintendo DS, Game Boy/Game Boy Color, Playstation, and Wii. The initial release was plagued by a high failure rate, otherwise known as The Red Ring of Death. The console initially had a 54.2 percent failure rate according to a Game Informer survey of 5,000 readers. This is more than five times the failure rate of the PS3. The console began production a mere 69 days before launch, and Microsoft was unable to supply enough consoles to most regions, selling out everywhere but Japan. The original Xbox didn’t sell very well in Japan, 2 million units, but the 360 would sell even less at 1.5 million from 2005-2011.

The 360’s advantage over the Playstation 3 was great. The pricepoint was two hundred dollars less, and they had plenty of third party support behind them. The console also featured much better cross-platform capabilities. Five years into it’s lifespan, the Xbox 360 got the Kinect, which became the fastest selling consumer electronic device in history, and effectively extended the console’s lifespan. In April of 2016, Microsoft annouced the end of production for the system, but they will still support it.

-Talk about Xbox live

-Talk about UI

-Exclusives

This week, the Clan dives Jango deep into some Bounty Hunter. The guys discuss the shooting, bounties, and tons of platforming the game has to offer. There's also a new poll up for Schweiss' and Cameron's next game, and don't forget to send in your HOG!

This week, the guys discuss their week in gaming, and then dive straight into an epic Q&A episode. We got to as many of you guys' questions as possible, and will clean the rest up next week. Schweiss loses his shit over his recent run-ins with his HOA. Enjoy the NUDE!

This week, the clan dives into Parasite Eve II. Here's the writeup:

Parasite Eve 2 is an action role-playing survival game released for the PlayStation. The game was developed by Square Enix, and published in 1999 in Japan and the US, and in 2000 everywhere else. The game has sold just over a million copies as of February 2004, and was released on the PlayStation Network August 23, 2011. The music was composed by Naoshi Mizuta, and arranged by Hiroshi Nakajima. The soundtrack took a year and a half to compose, and Mizuta was given a lot of freedom.

Story:

This game opens up peaceful enough. We meet up with Aya Brea, og protagonist from the first game, who is now an FBI member working for an elite squad known as MIST (Mitochondrial Investigation and Suppression Team) Lol. She’s currently dispatched on a mission in LA, where there have been reports of NMC sightings (Neo Mitochondrial Creatures). We start this bad boy out investigating the Akropolis tower, which is now home to NMC’s, and a bunch of dead swat members. We eventually run into No. 9, who is some sort of humanoid Neo-mitochondrial creature. This beastman ends up destroying the tower, but not before Aya and her friend Rupert are rescued in a police helicopter. We then head to Dryfield, another location infested by freakish beasts, including a fucking Elder Camel that totally reminds me of the grand master from the Kill Bill series. We meet up with a survivor named Mr. Douglas, naturally, and his loyal beast Flint. Douglas is sort of our informer for the next little bit. We also rescue Kyle Madigan, a PI claiming to be on a similar mission. He tells tale of a “Shelter” nearby that may contain the answers we’re looking for. But not before we fight craiggers himself! Oh, and of course, we get a sweet shower scene.

Aya and Kyle set out to find the shelter through an abandoned mine. This is where the Elder Camel finally shows his face. After we defeat this epicly bearded beast, we find a secret entrance to The Shelter. Here we find out that the AANMC’s are a result of genetic engineering to create superior life forms. We also find that these beasts were created using her DNA. Oh, also the “Star Wars” esque waste beast battle… Jesus Christ the FUCKING CAMERA ANGLE!!!!!!asdfasdfasd

We then find the fourth area, called Neo-Ark. This area was created as sort of a Jurassic Park-esque showcase for the ANMC’s. We meet up with Kyle, and rescue a little girl that was controlling the NMC’s. This turns out to be Eve… How? I don’t fucking know. But we soon find out that Eve was created using her DNA, thus sort of making her Aya’s daughter. But I mean, that also means that we’ve spent this whole game killing all of her other children, so whatever. Fine. I’ll accept this shit. Aya is later attacked by a huge group of golum beasts, but is rescued by the US Marines. Ameeericaaaaaa!!!!!! We later get a couple gifts from Mr. Douglas, and track down Eve to a giant room containing a cocoon. They’re trying to stuff Eve into it, and Kyle turns on No. 9 and kills him. We then get a cutscene where Bill Clinton wipes Dryfield off the map, and displaces the fuck out of our party. And now we fight the vag n balls beast.

The last NMC in the game is pretty brutal, since he harnesses the power of the sun in his shaft. Once we successfully geld this motherfucker, we move to the final fight. Eve. Again. She transforms into a beast that sort of resembles the second to last form of Eve in the first game. Once we beat this super OP boss, we get a few cutscenes. The good, and canon, ending features Aya adopting Eve as her sister with help from Mist. We then see a cutscene where Pierce gives them two tickets to the American Natural History Museum in NY, where we run into Kyle Madigan again.

Gameplay:

This game plays like a standard survival horror game. Tank controls. Also, cuntish camera angles. There isn’t an active time bar that governs actions, and the battles take place in real time. They removed the stupid Range Dome feature that the first game came with, which gives users to engage from further away. All enemies are in plain view, unless they’re the BDSM ninjas, which allows the player to avoid fights when they want. We get a chance to customize our weapons similarly to the first game, but it’s fairly limited. Armor lets us add extra items slots, which dictate what items can be used during combat. We also have a few different elements to our PE abilities: fire, wind, water, and earth. The game features a NG+ that offers you bonus items; not that you’ll ever want to experience this fucker again.

Enjoy the NUDE!

This week, the guys get together to discuss The Division. Before we dive into that, we announce the HOG leaderboard for the beginning of May. Congrats to Jake and Skoll Hati for their wide lead. The guys also discuss the Gaming Hall of Fame winners, and announce the winner of the latest drawing: Richard Apel... Again! Lol. Congrats, and Live always in the NUDE!

This week, the Clan discusses their week in gaming, and dives into a review of Brothers: A Tale of Two Brothers. They discuss the story, gameplay, music, and replayability of the game. Drawing next week! Live always in the NUDE!

Oh, boy! Episode 69 is finally upon us. Join the guys as they discuss their relationship with the number 69, their week in gaming, and of course, Mortal Kombat. Join us for all the laughs and tears, the painful lines, and the god tier soundtrack. Also, make sure you leave an iTunes review! We'll be sending out a copy of the film next week! Enjoy the episode, and of course, Live always in the [NUDE]!!

This week, the clan invites goodman Troy Cavanaugh on for a review two months in the making; Tales of Zestiria. We also announce Persona 5 as the next game for Cameron and Craig. Live always in the [NUDE]

Tales of Zestiria

Tales of Zestiria is the fifteenth installment in the long-running Tales series. The game was announced on December 12th 2013 as the 20th anniversary title. The game was initially released for PlayStation 3 and 4 on January 22, 2015 in Japan, and October 20th, 2015 in North America. The game was released on Steam October 19th, 2015.

Tales of Zestiria occurs on the continent named Glenwood. Glenwood is currently divided between two warring countries of Hyland and Rolance. The negative energy/emotions generated by people is manifested as what we know as “malevolence”. Malevolence transforms living, dead, and even inanimate objects into hellions. In addition to Humans, there are a group of supernatural humanoids and animals called Seraphim. Seraphim can interact with humans with a certain amount of resonance. Seraphim were once abundant, but have become scarce over time.

Setting:

The people of Glenwood refer to individuals who can interact with the Seraphim as Shepherds; individuals hailed as saviors, yet also feared for their immense power. Shephers appear during times of crisis. Seraphim can create contracts amongst themselves, the dominant figure is referred to as a Prime Lord, and a number of partners are called Sub Lords to support them. Glenwood also houses Dragons, who are seraphim corrupted by malevolence.

Plot:

Tales of Zestiria begins with two young explorers, Sorey and Mikleo (a seraph) exploring some ruins. They come across a girl, named Alisha Diphda, and bring her back to the village Elysia. Elysia is the home of the Seraphim, btw. Alisha heads home, and the party encounters a hellion called Lunarre, and follow Alisha home. The group encounters Lailah, a Prime Lord, who grants Sorey the power to fight the hellions. We then figure out that Alisha is the princess to the Hyland Kingdom. She joins the party to fight hellions, and the party sets out to fight malevolence. The main cause of this malevolence is a creature known as the Lord of Calamity. The party meets up with Edna, a earth Seraph, and Loli on the side, who joins up. Alisha ends up leaving the group because she’s a fucking resonance cazh, but ends up being used by Hylands military as a leverage to force Sorey and his friends to help them in their fight. This is when we first encounter Heldalf, the Lord of Calamity. Heldalf crushes Sorey, and before he is killed, he is rescued by an assassin named Rose.

Once Sorey recovers, he discovers that the Shepherd must go on a pilgrimage to four shrines to gain strength and fight Heldalf. Rose finds out that she has high resonance, and becomes Sorey’s Squre, along with Guns N’ Roses Gutarist/Wind Seraph Dezel/Slash. One the group clears the four trials, they fall under the trap of Symonne, a fallen seraph/Queen of the Loli’s. Dezel reveals that his true plight is to enact revenge on Symonne for her role in the death of his friends, and sacrifices himself to assist Rose in the fight.

The group confron the Lord of Calamity, who now wants to recruit our boy Sorey. We find out that the Era of Chaos that the game takes place in was created when the previous Shepherd turned Heldalf, a Rolance military general, into a cures immortal being by fusing him toe the seraph Motelus when he refused to provide aid to his village when it was invaded. This invasion, and failure, filled him with hatred, and thus turned him into the Lord of Calamity. We then find out that the village he failed to save was where our two friends Sorey and Mikleo were born. The party defeats the Lord of Calamity, Seraphim and Humans live in peace, and we get a cutscene where an adult Mikleo falls into a hole in some ruins, and is rescued by what is presumed to be Sorey.

Gameplay-

Action RPG

Armitization

Skits

Normin

Customization

Arteeehhhs

This week, the Clan discusses what roles they would like to fill within the video game making scene. They discuss what the inspiration behind their desired position, and discuss why. There's also a great rant about a very awkward party, and we discuss finally learning the truth about Dylan's Smash Bro's ability. Congrats to Hailblue for winning the drawing for a second time! 

This week, the guys take a slight detour from gaming and discuss what popular movies they dislike, regardless of the normal public opinion. They justify their distaste with these films, and then talk about their guilty pleasure films. Enjoy, and look forward to our next Patreon giveaway next week!

This week, the Clan assembles to discuss their history with Sony's PlayStation 3. We bring this discussion to the table due to the recent announcement that Sony will cease production on PS3's in Japan. We talk about our favorite titles from the console, and dig into a little trivia based around it's games and reputation. Enjoy the NUDE!

This week, the clan assembles with guest Richard Apel. We discuss what makes a good game studio, and talk about our favorite developers. Kaleb reviews Beauty and the Beast and Logan, and we talk about our goals. Enjoy the NUDE!

This week, the Clan discusses the various elements of Darksiders. We also bring the "Is it Gay?" segment to life, and build the ultimate douche. Enjoy!

This week, the Clan assembles to discuss the recent hit For Honor. We discuss the games light storyline, and dive deep into the intricacies of the multiplayer. We also have our first giveaway on the show. Congrats to Hailblue on the victory! Keep up on your HOG submissions, and live always in the NUDE!

This week, Craig has us play yet another variant of the Doug Loves Movies/Metacritic game. We duke it out for glory in the realm of shooters this time, and move on to discuss our paltry gaming for the week. Enjoy the NUDE!

This week, the Clan reviews the long awaited, and critically acclaimed Last Guardian. Join us as we discuss the games storyline, gameplay, soundtrack, design, and replayability. We also dive deep into a follow up question from last week. Enjoy the NUDE!

This week, Joe decides to rip off Doug Loves Movies with a minigame where the hosts guess a game based on reviews, the developer, and the MetaCritic score. Things also get a little steamy as the guys discover more about themselves than they could have ever imagined ala PixelEdged. Enjoy the NUDE!

This week, we discuss the father of Pac-Man, Masaya Nakamura. We discuss the popularity of Pac-Man though a quiz format. Kaleb Schweiss, of course, wins this and gets the epic Beto's Burrito as the reward. Enjoy the NUDE!

As you can guess from the title, we didn't all go see Assassin's Creed. But, two of us did beat the eye candy game called The Order 1886. Join Craig and Cameron as they take us on an adventure back in time to discuss what was meant to be one of the PS4's flagship games. Enjoy the episode, and live always in the [NUDE]!!

This week, the Clan gathers to discuss the highly renowned Parasite Eve. Join Kaleb, Joe, and Kaleb as they grapple for power in this review episode. Here's the ratings:

                    Joe         Schweiss       Craig

Story              4                 7               6   

Gameplay        6                 9               8

Art Design        8                 9               8

Sound/Music    10                9               8

Replayability     7                 7               7

Overall: 75/100                 W/Craig  74.6/100

This week, the Clan discusses their Game of the Year, Doom 2016. We also crowned Skoll Hati as King Hog, Joe from Michigan as Super Hog, and Felicia No Miko as Primus Titonis Audiencus. Join us for the best of episodes, and the worst of episodes. Also, please reach out to us winners!!

This week, we cover a plethora of stuff. From an overlong political discussion, to the unveiling of our Patreon, this is the Ultimate Episode of [NUDE] Clan. Join us as we discuss the epic Mortal Kombat movie in it's entirety We discuss the financial success of the film, and pit it against Double Dragon, Super Mario Bros, and Street Fighter. Also, make sure you jump on and vote for the NUDE Clan Awards! Enjoy the episode, and live always in the NUDE! 

The Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4757702

This week, the guys discuss their goals that they set in January of 2016. They talk about the successes and failures, and talk about next years targets. They also announce Kaleb Craig as King Hog for 2016, and announce the first annual NUDE Clan awards. Enjoy the NUDE!